Thanksgiving Survival!

                    Well, if you are reading this then like me you survived one of the holidays I was honestly dreading this year.  Before my diagnosis Thanksgiving was one of my favorite holidays and although I would like to say it was because of the family time, games and giving thanks it was really all about the food.  
                  Being from England I did not grow up eating the kind of food you have at a traditional Thanksgiving feast so to me the entire experience was so America from day one.  And I loved it.  Green bean casserole, mash potato, yummy, buttery bread rolls, sweet potatoes/yams, gravy by the boat load, mounds of stuffing and of course we cannot forget about the star of the show, the turkey.   Then comes my favorite part...dessert.  Pies of every kind smothered in spray whipped cream, cool whip, ice cream or a combination of all of them.  
                  I admit that food is a big thing for me and this holiday was the one time of the year I could really embody the glutton within myself and she loved it.  
                  Then came my diagnosis and honestly the thought of this holiday cause my depression to raise its ugly head and laugh at me and my inner self.  No longer could I just eat my weight in turkey, sides and dessert.  No longer could I have second or third helpings later on the day while we played games.  No longer could I devour eggnog by the gallon as I watched the in laws banter about the worlds events.  
                  Honestly I believed that this time of year would be nothing but sweat pants, depression and my new abiding love for my homemade oatmeal cookies.  (Truthfully, it is also why I put off making this post.)  Sure, I could have let my spirit stay in the darkness and wallow but then I realized something. 
                  It is customary when going to someone's home for a get-together, like Thanksgiving, to bring something.  In this case I was charged with bringing candied yams/sweet potatoes.  My husband just loves them and even though I'm still new to making Thanksgiving things I gave it a try.  
                  Well, as I was debating which recipe to use I remembered that with my condition it is not up to every single person I know to change their recipes or make special food just for me.  It is my job and my responsibility to figure out what I can eat or eat everything and deal with the consequences.  I decided on door number one. 
                   While making the candied deliciousness for my hubby and the family I decided to make sweet potato mash, something I know I can eat and do very often.  Also once we reached the table along with the family I was able to pick portions of turkey that had little to no seasoning.  When it came time to dessert I did indulge a little and had two pieces of pumpkin pie, but then I cannot resist its charm.  
                   Sure it was not the usual mass feast I would have normally eaten during the holiday but really it worked out better this way.  I was able to keep my pain at bay, enjoy myself with the family and I did not really feel like I missed out on everything.  (Though I admit watching the green bean casserole be devoured by others was hard to watch.)  Next year I will have to create my own recipe for it so I can have some.
                     Basically I realized that I have control over my condition.  It does not control me.  I could have just eaten what I wanted and suffered the pain that came with it, but instead I chose to embrace my condition.  Thanks to my effort I had one of the best Thanksgivings I have had in a long time and as corny as it sounds I was able to appreciate the true meaning behind it...being thankful. 
                    I am thankful for my condition as it has showed me that I need to take care of myself to be able to take care of others.  It has given me patience with myself.  It is teaching me discipline...okay its not perfect, it is still a work in progress but the point is I am not allowing the negative parts to control me.  
                    Holiday or no holiday we can not allow the negative portions of our condition to get us down.  As I have said before, cry, scream, rant and rave if you must, but do not allow yourself to be pulled under by it.  We are the same people we were before, except now we have to deal with something that not many people understand but its okay.  
                    We got this. 
                     
                    #NeverGiveUp
                    #AlwaysKeepFighting
                    #TogetherWeAreStronger
                      ichelp.org

When Life Throws You a Curve Ball!

       Living with a condition like IC feels, in a way, like playing a game of baseball.  (Bare with me as I know very little about the sport as I am from England)  Curve balls, I am told, are one of the ways the pitcher can throw the ball.  Well, days like today feel as though its a good description.  You never know what the day will bring and if your body will be nice to you or give you ridiculous amounts of pain.  
       I do not mind telling you that today my body opted for the second one.  Though I can not complain.  The days where I need medicine are starting to be fewer and further apart thanks to my life adjustments.  I really feel sorry for those people with this condition who can not go a day without having to take something for it.  
      For them the baseball game is one where they can never get to a base.  Always seemingly stuck at the Home plate and never being able to make contact with the ball.  In many ways people like me, who can adjust it with lifestyle changes have an advantage.  We already start out with the innings in our favor. 
      That being said the pitcher can throw at us whatever they feel like so even though each day is a surprise we have the foreknowledge that with another adjustment or medicine it will go away.  
       Today I deal with the pain as I always do.  I eat things that are high in alkaline (the opposite of acid), such as cucumbers, drink a ton of water, around 92 ounces, and if the pain continues I take some medicine.  I try to remember that this is not the worst my pain has been and even though it will not be the last time I am in pain, it will get better.  
      I try my hardest not to let my emotions/negative feelings take over as its a slippery slope for me.  I listen to music that is upbeat, I try to move around the house/clean as I would normally, except maybe a little slower and I watch TV shows/movies that take me away from the reality and help me focus on something else.  
     I have said it many times before and I will say it again..We can do this.  There is always a choice on how we deal with the situation and I choose to not let it get me down.  
     In every sport, not just baseball, there are winners and losers.  It is up to the losers on how they handle each loss.  Have a few moments to wallow and curse the universe...but then deep breathes and take on the day.  We can not change our condition and it will never leave us, but we can not let it hold us back from life.  Sure today I will not be able to chase the kids and dogs around or move as fast as I usually do, but there are other people out there who have less good days than me.  
     I am not a quitter.  I am a fighter.  Join me in the fight.  You can do it. 
     
     #AlwaysKeepFighting  
      ichelp.org

Invisible to the eye, not the rest of me!

So True!

        The other day a close friend said to me, "Oh that's right.  You still have your thing eh?"  She was referring to my unseen condition Interstitial Cystitis.  It was said in such a way that I felt a range of emotions. 

        Disbelief - Didn't I mention I'll have it forever?
        Upset - Do they think I make up flare ups?
        Anger - Do they pay attention at all?
        Hurt - Do they not remember the daily struggles I tell them about?

        Almost as quickly as I felt each emotion I thought of something else.  Yes, you told them it will be with you forever.  No, they do not think you make up the flare ups.  Yes, they care.  Of course they care.  And sure, maybe it will slip their minds on occasion.
        But why?
        Because they do not deal with your own daily struggles.  You may tell them about some of them, but they have their own daily things to worry about.  They do not feel the pain of a flare up, even the little ones.  They do not see the hours of food shopping and meal prepping you have to do.  They do not see how just hearing words like take out or delivery causes your pulse to race as the fear of pain grips you tightly.  
       Sure, they hear the odd compliant about take out and that random moment during a particular flare up where you can not keep the pain from crossing your facial expression.  Since they do not see it or feel it the way you do, they do not understand.  
       Over the course of the last few weeks I have noticed that around my husband and children, even close friends I hide most of my pain and emotions. 
       Honestly people who complain all the time are no fun to be around.  So why would i want to be that person? 
       As bad as it sounds I really think that after so much time has passed it becomes less of a big deal to others.  Mostly due to them not seeing or feeling what we deal with every single day.  But also its 'old' news.  Its like a broken records we can not turn off, but somehow others found the headphones and can ignore it if they want too.  Now I do not think people do this on purpose its just human nature.  
      I would give anything to be able to forget about my condition, even if its only for an hour or two.  Sadly, wishful thinking does not help.  
      Okay smarty pants.  You say.  What does help?  Two things help me. 

• My faith in my Heavenly Father. 
• An annoyingly positive attitude. 

     I think having my faith speaks for itself.  I am not ashamed to say that I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  LDS for short.  Everything happens for a reason and even when I can not see it in the moment I know trials make me stronger, preparing me for better things to come.  

     Now having a positive attitude is one thing.  Having an annoyingly positive attitude is another.  I heard a phrase once that said smile even in your darkness moment and keep it until you feel it.  On days when I am emotional or sad or depressed I become the most annoyingly positive person.  I make jokes, laugh and try my best to smile as big as I can.  Eventually it sticks and the moment passes.  

     So I leave you with this advice: 

• Smile - no matter what
• Laugh - at everything
• Cry - short bursts.  I try not to give in completely but small controlled outbursts should be okay. 
• Love - someone, a pet, yourself.  Have love in your life in some way, so in your darkness moments you have something/someone to hold onto.

         #Alwayskeepfighting

    
      

Frustration with IC!

My favorite cooking TV show. 

             I am a huge lover of food.  Due to this I have a healthy/close to unhealthy obsession with TV shows that revolve around cooking and competition.  Hell's Kitchen was the first one to catch my eye.  
            I mean come on, a guy who freaks out when they do something simple wrong while he is trying to make them better chefs.  Not to mention the prizes at the end of each season.  Yes, I know how the shows really work once they end but I like the naive idea that happily ever after occurs for each person.  
            I could list a thousand of the shows I watch now that have similar concepts, yet my newest favorite show in this category is called Worse Cooks in America.  Basically two chefs that are world known select 14 people from the worst cooks around to compete for $25,000.  The chefs divide the group into two teams, red and blue, for a sort of cook off at the end showing their new skills.  I love it.  It not only shows me recipes I can try for my family but basic cooking skills that I have yet to learn.  
            Now you may be wondering where is the frustration you promised....right here.  The problem with loving cooking and cooking shows now that I have this condition is I know without question I could never be a part of a show like these.  The likelihood of actually going on this type of show is already slim, I know that, yet the overwhelming idea that I could not apply to be ever sank in yesterday as I watched a rather funny episode.  
            There was chaos in the kitchen on the show.  
            People dropping things, setting fire to things, burning things...the list goes on.  Then came my realization as the chef focused in on one particular person and yelled really loudly. 
            "Taste!  Taste!  Taste!"  
            With those three words my heart just sank.  One of the first things I learned watching Hell's Kitchen is that you can not make great food unless you taste it.  You have to taste everything.  If you do not taste you can not tell how much seasoning to add and your food can end up too salty, too sweet, too spicy..well, you get the idea.  
             Since I got diagnosed with my condition I have not tasted any food I have made for my husband or kids.  I have been eye balling it as they would say.  My husband is great as giving good advice and as yet has not stated my seasoning is bad.  Of course 13 years of marriage also gives me great insight as to what he likes and what he does not.  
             That being said on the TV shows if you do not taste your food, you do not stand any chance of making it very far.  So my heart sank and my frustration arose.  
              Honestly as the realization hit me it was almost like I was back to day one of my journey: 
               Why me?
               I can't handle this...Can I?
               Can't someone else deal with this?
               How can I cook anything now?
               Can I eat anything good now?
               Am I doomed to eat nothing but plain crap my entire life?
               
               I admit I started to wallow.  
               Cooking shows are amazing and even though I am not very good at cooking I love to try.  And I love to bake.  I make English Cheese Scones all the time and my kids, the hubby and I all love them.  I love to make cookies and muffins and cupcakes.  It felt like a part of me got ripped away.  Then I remembered something.  
               April 22nd. 
               April 22nd was when I found out about my condition and made my first blog post.  April 22nd was the day my entire life changed and that was almost 6 months ago.  
              6 months.  
              And though I would love to say I've eaten take out/delivery everyday in that time frame I know its not true...although I know it has been a good few days.  
              I have been cooking food that I like and surviving for 6 whole months.  Clearly my 'bladder' friendly food list is a lot shorter than what I used to eat but I was never one for spicy food anyway.  Thinking about it I realized that before my food tended to be a little bland, and even though I could not just use whatever I did before I had new options that I had never tried before.  

•    Cumin
•    Chives
•    Caraway
•    Carob
•    Anise
•    Allspice

             Admittedly some of these I have heard of before I have just never tried them in a recipe or even know what they are used for.  

             After wallowing and my realizations it came to me that I can handle this.  I need to look at it like Gordan Ramsey (and the other chefs) are giving me a challenge.  You must create a weekly menu for you and your family using the following ingredients.  And since they are all bladder friendly you can taste it and make sure its yummy.  

             

             Challenge accepted!   

              #Alwayskeepfighting  

Life is already complicated!

                                              

            Life is already complicated without any medical condition.  Think about what you have dealt with in your entire life, before you were given the diagnosis.  For me its been a lot.  
            This year I turned 33 years old and it was 3 months before my birthday that I found out about my condition.  I will not bore you with the details of the life that came previously but I can tell you, like everyone else, I had good years and bad ones.  I had extreme highs and extreme lows.  And without question a few very very rock bottom moments.  
            But there is a catch.  
            I am still here.  No matter what I dealt with before I made it through.  Life was complicated.  Like a million piece puzzle that you have lost some pieces for.  Its frustrating, annoying, sad, happy, exciting and its yours.  There is no set time frame for the puzzle to be completed so theirs no rush, but we do anyway.  
           If this condition has taught me anything its that we need to slow down.  We need to take time out of our complicated lives and look after our health.  Sometimes, like with me and this illness, we have no choice.  We are forced to stop and reevaluate our lives, eating habits etc.  
           Sure, this condition is serious but you know for me it came as a blessing in disguise.  I never would have stopped.  I know I would not have.  My life was complicated in many ways, yet this condition did not make it worse.  In fact I sometimes thank my condition for allowing me to take the time I needed to focus on the bigger picture and enjoy the life I have.  
           This condition does not stop our lives from being complicated.  And I admit some days it does feel like its adding more pieces to the puzzle rather than taking them away, but you know what that does not mean we have to fall into the trap of blaming our condition for not doing things. 
           We can not use it as an excuse for things.   Realistically there will be days where it is a real reason and not an excuse but you have to be honest with yourself and others.  
           Is this really a day where I can and just do not want too?
           Is my pain really strong enough to hold me back from my goal today?
           Have I tried everything I can, to do want I have to do today?
           Do I control the condition today or does it control me?
           Honestly there have been days for me where the pain has been there, yet low enough on the pain scale that I was still able to get at least my minimal amount of things done that I wanted to do.  And there have been other days that I know I just need to rest.  
           I refuse to let my symptoms dictate to me what I can and can not do.  And even though some days I have no choice, on days when I do I will not go quietly.  I will fight with every ounce of my being to reach my goals and do what I need and want to do.  
           Everyone has a different puzzle and it is up to us to find the right way to put it together, however we are all in the same room and reaching out for help is nothing to be ashamed of.  If you need help of any kind reach out for it.  
           We are all in this together. 

           #AlwaysKeepFighting

          Alison 

Emergency Preparedness and IC!

Are you prepared?

      I consider myself to be pretty prepared for any type of emergency that can arise.  And by emergency I am talking about floods, fire, storms and earthquakes.  Now I am not saying that all my preparing is perfect and that I still do not have things to work out but I feel very confident in what I have got done already.  That being said I realized something in the passed month. 

      What happens when the emergency arrives and you have a condition, like IC?  Or any condition for that matter? 

       As part of my preparedness canned goods and food storage are a big part of it, yet I realized with my condition most of it I will not be able to eat if there was something going on.  

       I was in shock and honesty a little angry.  

       I had gone to all the trouble of making sure I was prepared only to realize that I had not included my condition in my planning.  This will undoubtedly make the preparing harder, yet I am willing to research and see what I can do to help myself as well as my family.  

      Here are a few steps I have taken already to resolve the situation: 

• I buy a package of Uricalm, a medicine to help with the symptoms, at least once or twice a month.  This ensures I have a good supply on hand at all times so if a situation does come up I have at least some relief from eating questionable foods. 
• As I find food I can eat, food lists are created so that I can keep track.  This enables me to purchase dehydrated items/food storage that I will be able to consume with my family in an emergency situation. 
• Water is a huge staple when it comes to food storage/preparedness and I have to admit so far this is where my stock fails.  As part of my new planning strategy I am hoping to have a good supply available to us at all times.  Right now I drink around 90 oz of water per day and if you include what the family drinks the amount can rack up very quickly.  In an emergency I would not be able to drink as much due to rationing but still the amount we would need is crazy if you do not stock up.  

         These are just a few ways I have found to prepare while having a condition.  Now I am lucky in the fact that the medicine that works for me on flare ups is something I do not need a prescription for.  For those of you that need a prescription it will be harder in an emergency situation.  Yet there is always something you can do.  

          I believe that situations are made hard so that we can come out the other side stronger than ever before and I know having the knowledge/planning ahead will help us a lot if something should happen.  

          Now I know that people read about being prepared and think I am not going out and buying tons of flour, sugar and other things it will cost a fortune.  That is true but only if you do it all at once.  The stock of canned goods and food storage I have has been slowly gathered over the course of years and honestly I started by simply adding one can extra each time we would do a grocery run.  Say you need 2 cans of Carrots, or whatever your family likes, instead of buying just the 2 you get 3.  You will be amazed how fast your collection grows.  

          No matter what situation may hit our area/you or your family it is always good to have a plan in place.  It is never too late to start the planning process. 

          

          #AlwaysKeepFighting

       Alison  :) 

BBQ Fun with IC!

      With celebrating July 4th, Independence Day, yesterday I was wondering how holidays have changed since people were diagnosed.  Before I was given the title as a IC patient I loved all holidays.  Way too many calories, sugar by the bucket load and the perfect excuse to sit on my butt and do nothing except relax.  
       This time around things are different.  
       My husband was working so it was just the kids and I, which we are used too so it was not really that different.  The only thing that made a big difference was how I prepared our food and what I had compared to the rest of the family.  
      I made hamburgers with vegetables instead of a bun to help my husband's low carbs diet and since we are trying to eat healthier together as a family.  I did not buy pre-made patties, I had to shape them myself which was a huge challenge for me but turned out great in the end.  
     The kids and my husband were able to have ketchup, garlic salt and basil on their patties, where as I just had sea salt, however this holiday I did not feel like I was eating a completely different meal to them. 
     Honestly since I was diagnosed I felt like every meal was spent with me eating something completely different to my family and leaving me out in the cold, sort of speak.  The last week or so has improved immensely as I have started to grip more on what seasonings I can have and how I can eat the same food just prepared in a different way.  
       Here are a few things that I have noticed/done differently: 

• Use two bowls/two pans to make the same food but with different seasonings. Definitely not hassle free but a huge improvement to eating something completely different and feeling left out.
• Knowing a little ahead of time what you want to eat and going with it.  If you are preparing/making the food for the entire family then you pick the menu and include foods you can adjust to your needs and theirs as well. 
• Food planning is also still a huge help as it enables you to by pass all the foods that would cause a flare up.  This would include foods that are high in sugar, such as take out and desserts. 
• Finding some kind of indulgence that gives you the feeling of 'cheating' but with a lot less side effect.  I personally have found that a little vanilla ice cream or vanilla shake gives me the feeling of having a some what normal eating style, complete with dessert, but without the pain for days later.  

        Above everything this holiday has taught me that it is possible to have a great family meal, including dessert without feeling like your causing hassle or adding stress to it.  Just because we have a condition does not mean it has to be a burden.  And remember: 

        #AlwaysKeepFighting