New Goal Reached!

         The passed few days my life has increased in such a positive way that I just can not contain my happiness and excitement.  The picture above should give you an idea on what I have been up to but I will spell it out.  

        This week, going into week 6, I started rollerblading with the kids after school and their chores.  

         Honestly I have not been on roller blades for a long time...like 15 years, with a small bit of practice around 8 years ago when my daughter was little and I was pushing her around in the stroller a little.

         As expected the beginning was unstable, shaky and seriously embarrassing.  I was very happy that only the kids were around.  That being said after a few minutes I got my groove back.  At the end of the time, around 20 minutes, my feet and ankles were hurting like crazy but it was worth it.  

         Yesterday was my second time around and it was so much better.  I lasted around 30 - 40 minutes and even though my feet still hurt, after a few minutes it went away and I did not notice it anymore.  

          After almost a year and a half in pain the idea that I could even think about doing something so physical without worrying about the pain was just mind blowing.  I could not comprehend walking at a steady pace, let alone riding a bike or putting back on roller blades.  

          I mean sure for my first thing to do when I started feeling better I could have just walked around the block but really I love rollerblading.  I have since the first time I tried doing it back in the 90's.  I never thought I would get around to doing it again and I am so happy that I am able to do it now.  

          I know I still need to watch my condition and take care of myself to keep this good momentum going but in this situation we need to celebrate the little victories.  For me this is a huge victory. 

           #AlwaysKeepFighting
           
           Never give up.  A rainbow could be around the corner.  Today I saw the rainbow.  

Week 5 Update!!

Miami, Florida

      Wow, honestly I can not believe its been five weeks since this all started.  What a crazy few weeks its been.  Let's review what I have learned so far in my journey. 

1. Water is my favorite thing in the world.  It has come to be the only thing that keeps my pain in check.  (As I've said before as soon as you start aching grab that water bottle and chug)
2. Dessert is not the enemy.  Find small indulges that you can have without suffering.  (I am able to handle rice pudding, home made, and cheesecake, in moderation)
3. Trying new food is not something you should dread.  Just remember that a few bites of something should be enough to tell you how your body is going to react.  Eating an entire cheesecake, maybe not the best option. 
4. We are not broken.  Sure, we have something that we will have to deal with for the rest of our lives, but we can still have a great value of life.  Do not let the pain win.  #AlwaysKeepFighting. 
5. Find your voice to the point of helping your condition.  Do not use this new found voice to drive loved ones to insanity.  They will help you, you don't have to bring it up every time you want something at their house. 
6. Exercise.  This does not just mean running or going to the gym.  A small walk around the neighborhood or just doing chores around the house will help.  The more you move, the better you will feel. 

   *Remember these are not necessarily in the order that you should use them.  

   Overall I have come to the point where, hopefully, I will not have to have medicine for my condition.  If I can continue to control it with food then its a win.  I know that some people are not as lucky and for those of you who are in that place I am so sorry for you.  But like I said, we are not broken.  

   Actually let me rephrase that.  We are not broken, we are just bent.  Sure, we're not like everyone else but we're still a team.  Suffering from the pain for as long as I did and the depression and anger that followed, I understand why people would want to give up or who have been so run down by it that you can't see the rainbow through the storm.  

   Well, the rainbow is there.  I promise.  

   In dark situations like that I feel that my faith comes into play a lot.  And I'm not one to keep track or anything, but I sure know that during my worst times I gave my heartache over in prayer and for me it helped a great deal.  

   On a happier note, during my grocery store trip today I noticed something.  I noticed that I did not look twice at the Diet Dr Pepper or chocolate bars around the cashier.  On the cruise I noticed that I only craved those things when I was feeling sad about missing my family or when I started to get ship crazy.    

   I was not going to say this, in case I jinx it, but so far I'm down 10 lbs.  I only went up about 2 lbs during the cruise due to the amount of cheesecake :)  

  Anyway, I think I have finally found my rainbow in the storm and even though I still have the odd pain I don't worry about it.  I just deal with it straight away and then forget about it again.  I really do feel like I'm becoming me again and I like it.  

   #AlwaysKeepFighting

Cruise Recovery!!

Example of a breakfast

     Well, it's official.  It's been over a week since I got back from the cruise.  This post I would like to talk about my food challenges and achievements while on the cruise. 

     In my previous post I talked about how nervous I was going on a ship that is all you can eat, 24/7 with a mass amount of sugar and yummy things that I knew I was not going to be able to eat.  Here are a few examples of the food I was able to eat while on the Carnival Cruise ship Victory. 

Example of breakfast

Example of lunch

      Honestly the first few days on the ship were following the foods I knew I could eat without a problem.  (Hence the Pear you see in every photograph)  But I felt I wanted to also test the water a little and see what things I could indulge in without much consequence.   The ham and cheese sandwich you see above caused the biggest problem.  In the end my go to lunch ended up being the one below with the chicken nuggets and fries.  

Example of a lunch

   Once I had determined which foods I could eat, with no issues, I felt I was able to reach out a little more and try new options.  During my time on the ship I worked out the following: 

• Even though I could eat Bananas before they are no longer my friend, whether in something or by themselves. 
• Bland food is my friend but I can add some salt and seasoning I just have to be careful. 
• Trying new food is not off limits because of fear.  If you try something and it doesn't work that's fine...next time you know better.  
• If you do start to have symptoms drink as much water as possible to flush out your system. 
• Going on a vacation is great but you still need to remember to drink enough water. 

  One of the main problems on my trip was my lack of water intake.  On a couple of days I found myself starting to ache, even though I had been watching my food very closely and staying within the limits.  I worked out it was due to the amount of water I was drinking...or lack thereof.  

   Another thing that I noticed is that when eating out I have to ask questions about how the food is prepared and must face my fear of asking for something to be substituted.  I admit that I'm terrible at speaking up, especially when its something along the being difficult line.  But as my best friend put it, its my health.   

  Would I rather eat whatever and be in pain or speak up and not deal with it?

 

   Honestly for me it depends on the day, but I understood what she was trying to say.  I can not rely on other people to speak up for me in this situation.  I need to find my voice and let people know that I have limits and how we can get around it.  If I say nothing then eating out, whether at someones house or at a restaurant, will always be something I dread.  Now that being said I don't want to be the kind of person who goes on about my condition all the time and there for people decide they don't want to invite me over anymore.  

   And again something in my life comes down to balance.  I suck at balance.  That being said I won't give up.  As a very smart man, Jared Padalecki, said Always Keep Fighting.  

  #AlwaysKeepFighting

https://www.facebook.com/JaredPadalecki?fref=ts

Decisions Decisions!

      Tonight is the night before I leave town for a week on a cruise to the Caribbean with my best friend.  Nothing says mothers day/girl trip like alone time away from the kids and the husband.  Do not misunderstand we both adore our families but as every parent knows breaks are not only nice, they are essential to keep our sanity.  

    That being said I must confess that since being diagnosed I have been a little nervous about this trip.  Cruise ships are known for their vast amounts of buffets, most of which I am certain have large quantities of chocolate...Oh dear.  I am not just nervous about the food but also my symptoms.  

    What if during our great time I have a flare up?  

    My husband said it best when last night he said if it happens, it happens.  You can not very well just leave the boat and come home simply because a flare up occurs.  So I am trying to alter my mentality to include worse case scenarios and am packing extra Advil or whatever helps my symptoms to make the process easier if something does come up.  

    This also got me thinking about other eating habits that we as a country have that change drastically when we are given this type of condition.  Here are a few examples I have experienced so far: 

• Take Out/Delivery/Restaurant Eating - Items that I used to eat a lot of or love the sound of are now completely off limits.  This makes the idea of going out to eat not only unappealing but also saves us a lot of money throughout the month. 
• Dinner at a friends house - I am lucky to have a best friend who does not mind changing up her recipe to accommodate my new requirements, but when it comes time for special gatherings later this year, such as Thanksgiving, I can tell I will be preparing my own food while the family eats the regular stuff.  

   So pretty much anytime you are not the one making the food a red caution flag will pop up and you will be hesitated to partake.  I am still in the process of adjusting to food that will help ease my symptoms but hopefully as time goes on I will be able to eat at least a little of the foods that I love.  

   Here is an example so far of what I can eat: 

• Peanut butter toast
• Pears
• Tuna from a pouch
• Canned vegetables - Sweet Peas, Green Beans and Carrots.
• Chicken - cooked on the stove with a small pinch of salt added.  (Can't use garlic salt and I love it on everything)
• Turkey - I have cooked ground turkey again with a small pinch of salt. 
• Fresh vegetables - so far I have tried Sweet Potatoes, Zucchini, Celery, Cucumbers and baby Carrots.  All have worked so far. 
• Rice pudding - only in small amounts and with pumpkin spice as well as less sugar than I would normally use. 

    The list is not as wide variety as it used to be but like I said, I am still in the calming my bladder down phase.  Honestly the food I eat right now is pretty bland and boring but hey I am losing weight and my pain is almost gone completely.  :)   I will take it.  

    I will update when I return from my trip but until then Happy Mother's Day to you and keep safe.  

Phase Two!

      Today I reached a milestone in my journey and it is the completion of all bladder washes I needed to have done.  
     YAY!!   
     This means that unless I have another flare up that can not be controlled with diet I should not need another procedure.  

     I think this is a great opportunity to give a shout out to my favorite Doctor who wrestled through this journey with me and after everything found out my problem.  

http://phase2women.com/

   The place is called Phase 2 Women's Center, here in Utah.  My doctor is Dr. Elizabeth Graul M.D but I have seen others and everyone, including the nurses and receptionist staff are the best I have encountered in my 33 years.  We have been through a lot together and even though I hope to never have a flare up that is bad enough to need another visit anytime soon I will miss those smiling faces.  So if you live close by I strongly recommend them.  

    Yes, without those amazing ladies we would not know my condition and I very easily could have continued living in pain.  Today I am pretty close to being pain free and compared to what it was a year ago, night and day.  

    I am very lucky to have found a place where they would not give up until I was properly diagnosed and a place where I felt I could express my emotions that went along with my pain without being called dramatic.  It is hard to find a doctor that you believe in and that you feel like you can trust.  With a condition that is chronic I feel it is important to have someone like that you can talk to.  

    For me today is a giant leap into my new lifestyle and as my favorite receptionist said this morning, my new life.  I do have a new lease of life and I do not plan to let this chance go to waste.  The sun does come out from behind the clouds, we just have to be patience and wait for it.  

   If you are struggling please hold on.  It is always darkest before the dawn.  

Reaching Goals!

     Reaching goals are huge, especially when you are changing something in your life.  Every little goal that you reach should be celebrated.  The goals I have reached since my notification. 

• No soda for 20 days exactly. 
• No chocolate or candy for 20 days exactly.

     Now 20 days may not seem like a long time to most people, but those who know me will understand how proud I am of this achievement.  Before now I was only able to go maybe a week without soda and definitely less than that for a chocolate bar.   

    Celebrating the small goals that you reach will help you stick with them.  Also a set back will not erase any of the progress you have made so far.  In our case a set back will probably cause us pain, which would make our mood lower than it needs to be.  Pain is something that can be dealt with and so can a set back.   

    Goal in any situation are necessary for success.  Mine are as follows: 

• Avoid problem foods completely until condition is under control.  
• Drink lots of water every day. 
• Slowly add small amounts of potential good food to see how my body reacts and adjust accordingly.